it's always darkest before the dawn
by wendi bird
Summary: "Time and time again you've told me that it's always going to be Stefan for you. For me… For me it's always been and is always going to be, Rachel." damon/rachel


**entitled;** it's always darkest before the dawn  
**summary; **_"Time and time again you've told me that it's always going to be Stefan for you. For me… For me it's always been and is always going to be, Rachel."_  
**rating;** T  
**disclaimer; **i own nothing  
**notes;** i just enjoy tormenting myself, don't i?

* * *

**it's always darkest before the dawn****  
**

.

_our love is questioned, such a mournful sound_  
_tonight i'm gonna bury that horse in the ground_  
_so i like to keep my issues strong_  
_but it's always darkest before the dawn_

- shake it out florence + the machine

* * *

Rachel had been hiding since they first arrived; she'd been far too paranoid to leave with Bonnie, despite Damon's wishes. She couldn't lose him, couldn't risk leaving him on his own.

She'd almost bolted out when Quinn screamed, but she'd caught sight of the struggle Damon was having with keeping both blondes at bay and decided she'd stay hidden while Rebekah got Quinn out of there. It wasn't until Alaric disappeared - probably to trail Rebekah - that Rachel ran towards Damon, smacking him upside the head immediately.

"Are you insane!" she shrieked, "How could you let him go after Rebekah and _Quinn_!"

"Damn it, Rachel!" he hissed, her wrists suddenly held in his vice-like grip and his icy blue eyes were glaring down at her, "I told you to get out of here with Bonnie!"

"And you believed that I'd leave without a fight?" Rachel scoffed, "I wasn't going to leave you here to get yourself killed Damon."

"So you decided you'd stick around and die with me? _How poetic._" He sneered, earning a hard glare from the tiny brunette.

"_Damon_." she hissed, yanking her hands from his grip, only to have the reality of what Klaus' death meant finally sink in, "Y…you're going to die. Klaus… the bloodline."

"Finally using that brain of yours, eh?" Damon chimed, his voice laced with sarcasm, "… Sit with me while I call Stefan?"

Rachel's stomach was clenched uncomfortably; she knew he'd meant it as more of a command, but his voice wavered the slightest bit and the realization on his face made it seem like more of a question than a command. So she simply nodded, lacing her fingers through his as they walked over to sit against the car.

She watched him pull out his cell phone and grew numb almost instantly; he was going to die. Damon was… _Her_ Damon was going to die.

How could that detail have slipped her mind as she was hiding in one of the other storage rooms? How was it possible that she had forgotten that Klaus' death meant the death of Stefan, Caroline, Tyler and _Damon_? How?

"Call me if you cough up a lung." Damon said to the phone, and Rachel was tempted to smack him, but watching him like that, knowing he was going to die and knowing he was using humor to cover up his own fear… It hurt too much.

"Damon, you can't leave me…" she whispered, her voice cracking as she gave his hand a hard squeeze.

"Hey, hey… Look at me." he murmured, turning slightly so he could cup her face in his hands, "It's going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. We're going to get out of here and prove that Klaus was nothing more than a lying son of a bitch."

He gave her that crooked smirk, and Rachel wanted to laugh it off, but the way he looked at her made her want to do nothing more than curl up and cry.

He slipped his arm around her shoulders and they leaned against the back of the car in silence for a while when Damon's phone went off. He let it ring once, twice before disentangling himself from Rachel and pulling his cell phone back out of his pocket.

Reading Elena's name instantly made her tense up.

"Let me guess," Damon started once he'd answered, "Calling to see if the grim reaper's paid a visit?"

Damon had long since cleared up that it was Rachel he loved, but when Elena figured out that she'd fallen in love with him during Stefan's absence, the vampire's resolve had wavered, and Rachel had come so very close to losing him.

Taking in Elena now, knowing that she was trying to figure out what she wanted -_ who _she wanted - had Rachel _terrified_.

She wanted Damon to pick her over Elena, but she was terrified he would pick her solely because Elena would choose Stefan. That he would leave her the minute Elena decided on Damon if she did.

It was ridiculous worrying about something like that while Damon might be close to dying, but Rachel couldn't help it. She couldn't deal with being second best again. Not after what happened with Finn and Quinn.

She loved Damon too much and the mere thought of it hurt. A lot.

Sighing softly, Rachel stood up and stretched before drifting away from Damon. She didn't want to hear a single bit of their conversation, innocent or not. She honestly wouldn't be able to handle it if they came to that final, loving goodbye and she was there hearing it all.

.

Damon's brows furrowed as he watched Rachel walk away, and for a good moment, his heart hurt at the sight of her walking away from him like that; he knew he shouldn't have been reading too much into it, but watching Rachel walk away from him was something he never wanted to have to do. He needed her.

Frowning at the thought, he turned his attention back to his conversation with Elena, "So, since I'm possibly a dead man, I need to say something."

"Um, alright. What is it, Damon?" Elena's voice came through, and Damon couldn't help feel a little bad at hearing the urgency in her voice.

"Look, I know that you've been trying to figure things out with how you feel for me and for Stefan, Elena, and for a while, the fact that you even considered me a choice meant so much to me. Because I did love you. But I need to say that regardless of who you feel you love more… And I'm in no way implying that it might have been me, but… I'm… I'm in love with Rachel, Elena. Time and time again you've told me that it's always going to be Stefan for you. For me… For me it's always been and is always _going_ to be, Rachel." the words had flown from his lips a great deal easier than he'd expected them to; he'd spent so much time trying to keep from admitting his feelings for Rachel aloud that he'd imagined finally admitting them to be that much harder.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, Damon realized that Elena had been silent for quite some time and he was convinced that she might have actually been considering choosing him over Stefan. It should have elated him, but he knew that he loved Rachel more than he would ever love Elena, and it was about damn time that he started putting Rachel first.

"You're right." Elena finally spoke, her voice soft, and a bit sad, but Damon was sure he could hear the smallest of smiles in her voice, "It's always going to be Stefan for me. That's not going to change. It's about time you realize just how much Rachel means to you. But take care of her, Damon. She loves you and I care about you, so I'm letting you go."

"Heh…" A rueful grin slipped onto his lips, "I don't think I can really take care of her when I'll be dead within the hour."

"You're gonna be fine. You hear me?" she said, just as Damon heard a sharp intake of breath from Rachel. Turning, Damon's eyes widened at the sight of a very angry looking Alaric stepping just a few feet away from the tiny brunette, "You're gonna be okay and I'm going to see you _with_ Rachel soon."

"Real soon." Damon breathed, not taking his eyes off of the immortal hunter, "Goodbye Elena."

He hung up, his hand falling onto the large crate beside him, "I see you're still pissed." he took a few steps towards Rachel, trying to keep his tone light as he did his best not to make any sudden movements that might tempt Alaric into hurting Rachel, "I take it Goldilocks and Barbie gave you the slip?"

Alaric's head tilted to the side for just a fraction of a second before he was moving and Damon had just enough time to pull Rachel out of the way when Alaric got him with a blow to the face, sending the two of them flying backwards.

Rachel's gasp of pain as the two collided with the floor made Damon panic; he would not lose her tonight.

"Damon…" she whimpered, scrambling into a sitting position as Alaric came after Damon again.

Quickly, Damon shifted away from her, shaking his head as he managed to say, "Get out of here, Rachel! I'm _not_ going to lose you."

"No, but she will lose you." Alaric growled, landing another perfectly aimed punch right on Damon's face.

"_Damon!_" Rachel screeched, and he managed to catch sight of her curling up near the car, tears spilling over just before he lost track of all else.

Blow after blow and it seemed like it was never going to end. He should have fought back, for Rachel's sake if not his, but it was Ric. It was his friend. His best friend and the fact that he was pretty much invincible was a bit of a put off.

He landed on the floor again, warm blood trickling down his face as he spotted Rachel scuttle towards him, only to be thrown back by Alaric and hitting her head hard against the concrete, falling unconscious immediately, "No hard feelings, Rachel."

"No!" Damon hissed, shifting so he was laying on his back.

"You're not even gonna fight back?" Alaric asked, quickly turning his attention back to Damon, stake clenched in his hand as he hovered above the vampire.

"You're kind of invincible, Ric." Damon groaned, fighting to find some semblance of strength within himself so he could get his ass up to help Rachel.

"Don't call me that." A swift kick. "We're not friends."

"We were." Damon breathed, tasting his own blood on his lips.

"Well our friendship was part of the problem. It's what kept me weak." Damon winced, lifting himself on his elbows and eyes shooting in Rachel's direction, relief flooding trough him at the sight of her chest rising and falling evenly. "It's also why it took so long for the real me to break through." Alaric bent down, so he was at eye level with Damon and completely blocking his view of Rachel, "And now I'm gonna break you."

Another hard blow to the head and the room was spinning around him.

.

.

.

"Come to watch me wither away?"

He'd been locked up for a few days, the lack of blood and the vervain in the air making it damn near impossible for him to keep from coughing every few minutes.

"No." Rachel mumbled, looking at him through the metal bars on the door, "You wouldn't be in this mess if you had just left Caroline alone."

"Spare me the morality lecture, please. I get more than enough of those from your dear Saint Stefan." Damon groaned, his head lolling back and forth until he managed to lock eyes with her, "What do you want, Berry? And don't you dare say nothing. You wouldn't be down here without Stefan if there wasn't something you wanted."

Rachel bit down on her lower lip, "I'm just… Curious."

Damon's brows furrowed for a moment, before realization clicked into place, "Curious? About vampires? I figured Stefan would have filled you in on his lifestyle already."

"He has." Rachel answered, "But I want to know about you. You clearly don't follow the same lifestyle and I want to know why."

"What makes you think I'm going to tell you why?" Damon asked, another cough shaking his body.

Rachel pulled a blood bag into view and Damon allowed himself to be genuinely surprised for a moment, "I bring sustenance."

"I… You do know that feeding makes me stronger, right? Which in turn makes it easier for me to break out of here." Damon sighed, the dryness of his throat growing more obvious as he stared at the blood bag in her hands.

"There's enough vervain in there to keep you from breaking out." Rachel quipped, "Stefan told me."

Damon rolled his eyes, "Of course he did. But I'd be strong enough to reach for you through those bars and drain you dry. That would make me strong enough to break the door down at least."

"But you won't." the look in her eyes was becoming unsettling and Damon found himself looking away from her as he spoke.

"I'll do whatever it takes to get the hell out of here." he growled, narrowing his eyes and glaring at the ceiling.

"Oh, I know that. I meant you wouldn't 'drain me dry.'" Rachel told him, pulling out a small pair of pink scissors and cutting the plastic blood bag open.

The smell of blood hit him hard and in a second he was rammed against the door, and Rachel was pressed back against the opposite wall, blood bag gripped so tightly that it had begun to seep over the opening a bit and was currently dripping down her hands.

"Note to self, don't open blood bags in the presence of starving vampires." Rachel murmured, trying to calm her now erratic breathing.

"Berry, give me the damn blood bag." Damon growled, his eyes darkened and fangs in clear view.

She seemed to be hesitating, and Damon honestly didn't expect her to give it to him, but she did.

She walked over to the door, head held high and held the dripping blood bag out to him. Quickly, he took the bag and drained it, tossing it to the side once he was done and clutching her wrist tightly in his hold as he licked it clean of the blood that had spilled over onto her hands. He felt her shiver under his grasp, and he knew she was probably remembering his words about draining her dry.

And he should have, to prove her wrong.

But he didn't. He let his eyes fall shut, slowly willing his face to shift back to normal before looking up at her, tilting his head to the side as he eyed her, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"A little bit, yes." Rachel admitted, lips pursed as she stared at him, "But I've never been able to watch people get treated like animals. You're no exception, vampire or not. I've had too much experience with torment and ridicule to be even the slightest bit okay with it."

Damon's brows furrowed, "Even after what I did to Caroline?"

"Don't mistake my distaste for cruel and unusual punishment as some kind of forgiveness for what you did to Caroline. That was beyond forgiveness." Rachel told him, staring down at the hand that he still held in his, "But I understand that you and Stefan are two completely different people, with completely different lifestyles. I'm not going to come around trying to change who you are. I just want to be able to understand why you are the way you are."

Damon was silent as he stared up at her, not quite believing what was coming out of her mouth; clearing his throat, he ran he free hand through his hair and sighed, "It's a long story."

"I have all the time in the world." Rachel murmured, curling her fingers around his hand and squeezing lightly in a way that made his stomach clench.

"Well," Damon sighed, "It started in 1864..."

.

.

.

It had been on that day that Damon realized just how special Rachel was. Though, it was no easy fairytale with the two of them; they'd had that moment in there, uninterrupted and he'd told her everything that Stefan had held out on and she returned the favor sometime after he'd gotten Caroline to help him escape the house.

She'd been furious with him. Anger, disappointment, hurt, fear… They all rolled off of her in waves for weeks whenever he would come around, but they'd always find their middle ground. She was _always_ there.

A loud cough leaving his lips, Damon shifted back and forth on the ground, his breathing ragged and painful, "Heh," he weezed, feeling his strength come back to him as he stared up Alaric, "Is that all you got?"

"Not quite." Alaric shook his head, positioning himself to jam the stake into Damon's chest when Damon gripped his wrist, struggling to turn it away before kicking at Ric's abdomen and jumping to his feet again. Quickly he ran over to get in a well aimed blow to his face.

They continued back and forth for a good while when Alaric settled on trying with the stake again, but Damon knocked it away, quickly grabbing at his neck and Alaric did the same. Then it happened.

Alaric's eyes widened a bit, brows creasing in confusion as Damon stared at him, confusion etched on his features as well at the sudden weakness in the immortal hunter.

"What's happening?" he gasped, gripping Damon like a lifeline, "What's happening?"

He was falling to his knees and the realization hit Damon like a ton of bricks, "No…no, no, Ric, no. _Ric!_" he shouted, holding tightly to the quickly desiccating corpse, "You are not dead." he breathed, unshed tears burning his eyes, his heart clenching even more painfully at the realization that Ric being dead meant Elena's death as well, "You are not dead!"

Catching sight of Rachel's unconscious form, Damon tore himself away from Ric's body and crawled over to her, "Rachel.. Rachel _please_." his voice cracked as he shook her, his tears spilling over, "Open your eyes."

With a sharp intake of breath, her eyes fluttered open, brows quickly furrowing at the tears in Damon's eyes, "A-ah.. D-damon?"

Without a word, Damon pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as the tears continued to flow. He couldn't speak. He couldn't do it without breaking down completely.

His best friend was dead. Really, truly _dead_. And Elena was dead.

Pulling back, Damon quickly lifted Rachel into his arms, holding her close and carrying her into the car and buckling her up, "Don't fall asleep, alright, Rach? Don't…"

His voice got caught in his throat, and he ran towards Alaric's body lifting it up and putting it into the trunk. After that, he ran towards the front seat and started the car, catching the realization dawn on Rachel's face before he drove out of the storage, dead set on making it to Mystic Falls as soon as possible.

Stefan would be falling apart if Elena was truly dead.

.

"I'm sorry… about Elena, Damon."

Rachel's voice took him by surprise; the last thing he remembered was her asleep on the hospital bed as he held her hand tightly in his grasp. Sleep was the last thing that had been on his mind and it kind of crept up on him.

"Rachel… When'd you wake up?" he asked, the sleep quickly wearing off.

"A few minutes ago." she whispered, her eyes shining with unshed tears, "I'm really sorry about Elena… I know she's going to be a vampire now but… You loved her, and her being a vampire was the last thing you wanted for her."

Damon let his eyes fall shut, "It was. I did. And it sucks. It hurts like you have no idea because Elena was my friend. But I love _you_, Rachel. It's always been you."

Finally letting the tears fall from her eyes, Rachel leaned forward, pressing her lips to his and threading her fingers through his hair. "I love you." she whispered feverishly against his lips, "So much. I love you, Damon Salvatore."

Cupping her face in his hands, Damon allowed himself this moment of happiness in all the bullshit that was happening around them, "I love you, Rachel Berry. I will always love _you_."

**[end.]**


End file.
